It's been the 21st of May for 58 minutes. So far the end of the world is sort of a let down.
Incase G-d is just running a little late, I'd like to take a moment to thank him for creating the plague, AIDS, baby moths that eats their way out from the inside of a live caterpillar, the particular kind of leech that likes to live inside eye sockets and of course, homosexuality.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-preacher-warns-end-of-the-world-is-nigh-21-may-around-6pm-to-be-precise-2254139.html
I'd also like to reassure him/her/it/ze/they that I don't hold any grudges against ze for hiding yourself so thoroughly, for making all your devoted followers nutbags and idiots, and for generally not being a good explanation for any of life's mysteries.
In order to deflect your possible wrath, I'd like you to consider that while I have been referred to as 'millitant' atheist before, I have never used the wit and style of this man. Dawkins.
some of my favourite quotes:
Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of the Sahara. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively outnumbers the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here."
— Richard Dawkins (Unweaving the Rainbow: Science, Delusion and the Appetite for Wonder)
Showing posts with label crazies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazies. Show all posts
Friday, 20 May 2011
Sunday, 24 April 2011
The World is Ending!
Stop the presses, we're all going to die.
I know, for too long we've all thought the world was ending on the 21st of December, 2012. Those Mayans promised us. But since they're all dead now, the world really ended a long time ago for them.
Now, a new date has been proposed.
The 21st May, 2011. That's right people, only 27 more days to rap up all your unfinished business.
This is the genius idea of (who else) a rightwing American nutjob with too much money and too little sense. Family Radio network founder Harold Camping. He also prosephied that the world would end in 1994, but later admitted to doing his adding wrong or forgetting to carry the 1. He's sure his Maths is right this time though. Ruly-truly.
If you feel the need, search for his page, it's full of bizarre claims basically taking random numbers from random Bible excerpts and then using those numbers to make a date for the End Days.
Allow me to use my prophetic powers in order to determine the true date the world will end.
I am the Ungodly Prophet, and I see.....
My favourite number is 17. I am currently 22. I feel like the oldest I will ever be is 37.
(1+7) x (2+2) = 32
=
3/2/37
The world will end on the third of February 2037.
(Guess I will live past 37)
(Or, if God really is American, than maybe it'll be the 2nd of March 2037.)
If you do feel the need to prepare for the rapture, apparently there are actually books designed to prepare you for this.
How to Survive the End of the World as We Know It: Tactics, Techniques, and Technologies for Uncertain Times
The End of the World: Stories of the Apocalypse
End of the Present World and the Mysteries of the Future Life
I can't tell you anything about them because I don't think the world is going to end, except that they're cheap, (which definitely says nothing about their quality. O_O ) so might be good for a laugh.
So, what do y'all think? Is the world really ending? Anyone packing up a swiss army knife and a supply of canned food and heading for the hills?
I know, for too long we've all thought the world was ending on the 21st of December, 2012. Those Mayans promised us. But since they're all dead now, the world really ended a long time ago for them.
Now, a new date has been proposed.
The 21st May, 2011. That's right people, only 27 more days to rap up all your unfinished business.
This is the genius idea of (who else) a rightwing American nutjob with too much money and too little sense. Family Radio network founder Harold Camping. He also prosephied that the world would end in 1994, but later admitted to doing his adding wrong or forgetting to carry the 1. He's sure his Maths is right this time though. Ruly-truly.
If you feel the need, search for his page, it's full of bizarre claims basically taking random numbers from random Bible excerpts and then using those numbers to make a date for the End Days.
Allow me to use my prophetic powers in order to determine the true date the world will end.
I am the Ungodly Prophet, and I see.....
My favourite number is 17. I am currently 22. I feel like the oldest I will ever be is 37.
(1+7) x (2+2) = 32
=
3/2/37
The world will end on the third of February 2037.
(Guess I will live past 37)
(Or, if God really is American, than maybe it'll be the 2nd of March 2037.)
If you do feel the need to prepare for the rapture, apparently there are actually books designed to prepare you for this.
How to Survive the End of the World as We Know It: Tactics, Techniques, and Technologies for Uncertain TimesThe End of the World: Stories of the Apocalypse
End of the Present World and the Mysteries of the Future Life
I can't tell you anything about them because I don't think the world is going to end, except that they're cheap, (which definitely says nothing about their quality. O_O ) so might be good for a laugh.
So, what do y'all think? Is the world really ending? Anyone packing up a swiss army knife and a supply of canned food and heading for the hills?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)